בס"ד

Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin’s Pearls from the

Wellspring

Elul 5764

The Month of Elul Rectifying the Sense of Action
Elul is the month of action when we complete the year as well as starting new things.
The bodily part of this month is the left hand, which fits in with the shape of the letter yud, the name yud itself has the same root as the Hebrew word for hand --yad.
It is the left hand, which touches the heart. We employ the right hand in conscious actions, while the left hand is connected to the unconscious coming from a much deeper place in the heart. It takes a lifetime to fix the unconsciousness, because it's so deep. Elul is the last moth of the year that's when we fix that which is most distant from our consciousness. In Elul we can do tshuva for the things we did unconsciously. "The left always pushes away, while the right brings close" (Mesechet Sota 47a) In the month of Elul we must push away every negativity and impurity caused by our evil inclination. The constellation of this month is the Virgo, which likewise symbolizes purity and virtue. On the first of Elul Moshe went up to Mt. Sinai to receive the second tablets of the Torah to atone for the sins of Israel. By this process Moshe opened the gates of penance for the month of Elul. Therefore, we must take this opportunity during the forty days between Rosh Chodesh Ellul and Yom Kippur when Moshe returned with the Tablets of the law, to truly return to Hashem by scrutinizing our actions and increasing our good deeds.
Chodesh Tov, and Shana Tova, May you all be inscribed in the book of Life! Chana Bracha Siegelbaum

Pearls from the Wellspring is a contribution of the students of Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin. We are pleased to have so many unique women with differing opinions, which do not necessarily reflect the general outlook of Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin. We encourage our readers to send their comments and questions to Rebbetzin Chana Bracha at berot@netvision.net.il . If you would like to write to our students because you are interested in their art, their essays, or have ideas on how to help our young women with their goals, please send email to bba@netvision.net.il and put the student's name in the subject line. Todah Rabah, Ra'ayah, assistant editor

In this month's issue:

Journeys
"When Opportunity Knocks" ~ On making a decision to join our Midrasha
By future B'erot Student Diana Silveira

"The Whisper of the Desert" ~ Impressions from our annual nightly desert hike, by B'erot student Aharona Miriam Rose from originally from Toronto

Poetry
"By the Sea" ~ The first poem ever written by 58 year old B'erot Student Judy Atkins inspired by the encouraging atmosphere of our "Torah & Creativity Seminar

Announcements
Weddings

B'erot Investment Opportunities. Our continued existence and growth is dependent on your generous contribution.

When Opportunity Knocks
By Diana Silveira

Just shortly after the High Holy Days last year, I began to experience a crisis of identity so spiritually agonizing that it tore into the core of my very being. Every conception, notion, and idea I had about religion and religiosity was being torn asunder. The very real conflict of the religious way of life and the not so religious way of life began to wage a mighty war within me. By last October I had already made the decision to make Aliyah, the only questions were when, and how would I begin my new life in Eretz Yisrael. Having come from a Conservative background, coupled with a strong disdain for what I perceived to be the fanatical, I was stuck in a state of limbo whose stagnancy was quickly becoming counter-productive to spiritual growth. I wanted to completely immerse myself in a Torah environment, but in all honesty, I was a little frightened by some of the implications that doing so presented. Namely, I did not want to get caught up in self-righteousness, judgmental viewpoints, and a rigid religiosity that was rudimentary and remained fundamental. Yet, the difficulty or crisis existed because I knew that unless I became more religiously observant, I would not be able to reach the levels of spirituality I deeply craved. Nonetheless, I did not want to be so "religious" that I might become stuck in the external trappings of religion thereby completely missing the point. Judaism, I determined, must remain first and foremost an internalized reality. Especially because Judaism, true Torah Judaism is vibrant, life enhancing, and when embraced wholeheartedly, allows the individual to soar to unforeseen heights. But, was I truly ready for the next level - a level beyond compromise and complacency? Was I truly prepared to make and take a stand for what I believe in? Was I truly ready to walk the walk, and not just talk the talk? In short, was I truly ready for the outward manifestation of an inward transformation? These questions loomed largely at the forefront of my consciousness. It became clear that wherever I lived when I moved to Eretz Yisrael, I would need to go to a place that would serve as the fostering ground by which to meet and respond to my spiritual dilemmas.
In January of this year I began doing research regarding making Aliyah. I knew that the type of religious environment that would be best suited for me was one that would afford me the opportunity of intensive learning. I wanted to be fully exposed to Orthodoxy, in undiluted form in order to challenge my spiritual struggles in an open and constructive arena. There were too many doubts, questions and reservations I had and I knew that I would become spiritually stagnant if I did not confront the issues before me, and dispel all doubt, once and for all. I needed to face the "religion" of our faith in order to know its truth for myself. I wanted to start my life in Yisrael on the right foot, and to do so in the light of G-d and His truth could be the only correct way. So I was game to accept a challenge that more than exceeded my bounds and comfort zone. There are so many options available to one when making the decision of where one wants to live and study. Because the criterion for my search was very specific, I suppose it narrowed my options a bit. Either a program was too short in length of time of duration, or I was too old, or it was not religious. A bit discouraged, but unwilling to give up hope, I prayed to Hashem to please guide and lead me to the opportunity that is truly meant for me. Over the course of approximately 4-5 weeks and countless inquiries, I finally received a response that more than piqued my interest. One day in February, I received an email from a woman by the name of Rebbetzin Chana Bracha Siegelbaum of Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin in Gush Etzion. She sent a very simple, yet warm and welcoming note with some information that was eye-catching. She runs a program that offers a woman the opportunity to delve deep into the heart and soul of Judaism, and so deepen and enrich her personal relationship with Hashem! This was made possible through intensive study of biblical and other esoteric texts. Because I happen to find the esoteric captivating, and cherish this aspect of our tradition, I was ecstatic! Of course, after perusing the website, I responded to her email with a list of questions and concerns. As silly as this may sound, while my spiritual yearning is very sincere, I was worried that I would not be allowed entrance into the program because I was not exactly what one would call "frump." Regardless of the issue or concern I posed to the Rebbetzin, I was met with openness, assurance, acceptance and an understanding so incredibly objective that I began to rethink my ideals concerning Orthodoxy. Rebbetzin Siegelbaum leaves one with the impression that not only does she practice what she preaches, but also, that she happens to be a non-judgmental, and very accessibly down to earth individual. A Rabbi with whom I study here in the States who spoke with her briefly about her program concurs with this opinion, as I'm sure do many others. The program at the Midrasha is approximately ten months long, and in some cases, even a bit longer. The curriculum includes an intensive course in Hebrew - Ulpan, lessons in Torah, Tanya, prayer, meditation, personal tutoring/mentoring and more. The program also serves as a vehicle for acclimating into a new environment for those students who are considering, or have made Aliyah. One is a part of the over all community, and the living situation is such that while one lives independently, one is afforded the opportunity to share and experience special occasions such as Shabbat with other families in the community.
Every woman is accepted into this program on a case-by-case, individual basis. Make no mistake about it; acceptance into Midreshet B'erot is difficult. Only the serious need apply. There are very strict rules, and one must be fully willing to abide by every single one of them. There are no surprises as to what one can expect regarding the standards at B'erot Bat Ayin. Information as to the curriculum, rules, guidelines, and expectations are provided to a student long before she arrives at the Midrasha. There is a rigorous interview and selection process, which I believe only serves to maintain the integrity of the program and what it aspires to accomplish. Baruch Hashem, I was so graciously accepted! Over the course of what is now six months, and extensive correspondence between Rebbetzin Siegelbaum and myself, with each day, I am getting more and more excited that so soon, Im Yirtzhe Hashem, in October 2004 not only will I fulfill the dream of "going home," but I will soon embark on what may very well be the most dynamic experience of my life. How I will be and how I will feel in a year from now about the issues with which I currently wrestle is not something I can remotely fathom at this point. What I do know is that the time I spend at the Midrasha will be life altering and spiritually enhancing, and this is why I chose to study at Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin. I fully expect to grow leaps and bounds, and to be challenged on spiritual, personal and intellectual levels that as of now remain uncharted. How grateful and eternally indebted to Hashem I am that when the opportunity of a lifetime knocked, I was waiting, alert, and prepared to answer.

The Whisper of the Desert
By Aharona Miriam Rose

We experience the world in this body of this lifetime, but that does not mean that our souls feel congruent with the absurdity. There are events and circumstances that we accumulate and allow to dominate us during our time on earth. Our soul is infinite and chosen or not, is trapped inside a finite body with restrictions of time and space. If we are fortunate enough, there will be times in our lives when the limitations of the body will melt away enough for us to experience the infinite, the timelessness of Hashem's beauty and the vastness of open space.

But commercial jingles, obsessions with image, countless childhood disappointments, meaningless conversations, fluorescent lighting, traffic jams, billboards, polyunsaturates and skyscrapers obscure our view in finding that which is familiar to our souls. Our souls do not recognize Cap't Crunch, the theme song to Different Strokes, the flicker of a computer monitor or Slimfast dieting. Thus, there is often a part of me that feels like the stranger in a strange land, as our forefather Avraham did 4000 years ago.

On the twelfth day of Av's waxing moon, the students of B'erot went on a midnight hike through the Judean Desert. The desert is empty. Of course I do not mean that there is nothing there. The desert is filled with interesting geology, wildlife and landscapes that reflected in the moonlight, look like castles built for angels. The desert does not give anymore than one takes from it. It does not ask you to buy anything, tells you that you need to be slimmer or offend the senses with superfluous imagery. There are no birds singing harmonies, or leaves clapping symphonies. No water can be heard trickling or crashing against the shores.

The desert offers visitors nothing but that which is already familiar to a deeper part of who we truly are. The nature of sand, stone and chalk is that it absorbs nothing, recharging with every day in the sunshine. The stars have changed little since the beginning of time, the sound of the wind always carries the same tunes and the moon emits the same shade and quality of light.
The desert has not changed. It is a powerful place to discover the pieces inside of ourselves which also have not changed. We became bare that night. We stripped ourselves of all the non-essentials and allowed the daily complexities to settle into simplicity. I am speaking of a connection with the soul, the part of us that guides the journey into truth, understanding, love, connectivity and healthy relationships.

Midbar--mem, daled, bet, reish--the Hebrew word meaning wilderness which contains the same letters as the word--medaber-- meaning--speaks. The desert speaks to us if we can silent the ongoing chatter inside of us for long enough to hear the words that Hashem has been crying out to us for years, while we have been too afraid to listen.

While Judaism teaches us to cradle the sparks of the upper worlds and manifest them in the physical reality, it is essential for all of us to take time to meet with Hashem on our own. We may then shoot the metaphysical breeze to gain clarity from the relative emptiness in which everything exists.
May everyone be blessed with the strength to empty ourselves of all the externals that we believe make up our identity to find the still spaces where our truth rests.

By the Sea
By B'erot Student Judy Atkins

By the sea we encountered Hashem
By the sea He called to me
By the sea I came to Him
By the sea I felt His warmth
By the sea I entered His warmth
By the sea I was then transformed
By the sea my soul leapt within and raised me high
By the sea I discovered myself
By the sea I was connected
By the sea I reached out
By the sea I touched Hashem's Shechinah
By the sea I felt His touch
By the sea I danced His dance of creation
By the sea He brought fourth the creation
By the sea we emerged as one
By the sea our joy flowed through our feet
By the sea our joy burst forth from our lips
By the sea our arms rose as one
By the sea we gave birth to our song of praise
By the sea we emerged as Hashem's precious one
By the sea we left our bondage
By the sea we became Hashem's beloved
By the sea we discovered life
By the sea our potential was actualized
By the sea our joy burst fourth to encompass and spread
By the sea we declared our love
By the sea we declared our gratitude
By the sea we joined the universal chorus.

Announcements

KOL SASSON V'KOL SIMCHA! B'erot Alumna Shalva Miriam Leah Cutler married Daniel (Donny) Kligman on TubAv. We are happy they made the nearby community Efrat their home. Mazal tov to former B'erot Student Avigail Gilbert who married Amichai Teumim Rosh Chodesh Elul (Tuesday August 17) at the Tayelet, in Yerushalayim. Mazal tov ! to our teachers Rav Daniel & Rebbetzin Batya Kohn on the marriage of their daughter Chasdeia on Monday Tub'Av in Gush Etzion.

Upcoming Seminars and Events

We are starting our five week Elul seminar today with many new students. Look out for exciting shabbatonim and field trips (announcements to come). We are planning a special Rosh Hashanna Seder with homegrown organic apples and lots of blessings for the Year.

We Need Your Financial Support
At Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin we are encouraged to live simply and connected to the land. We grow fruits and vegetables for our meals. We make healing ointments and teas with local herbs. We learn pottery, embroidery and sewing.

Please consider Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin with your Rosh Hashanna contributions. We have a number of students with very little financial means and we are looking for sponsors to enable these talented dedicated students get the Jewish education they never received as children.
Assisted scholarship is $300 pr. month. You can sponsor a student for one month, 3 months, or an entire year ($3000)

I thank those who are sending larger donations, but even $18 pr. month would be greatly appreciated. It is possible to send postdated checks. You can dedicate your donation to a Refuah Sheleima or l'havdil Aliyah Neshama of a loved one.

Thank you for becoming part of Midreshet B'erot Bat Bat Ayin and enriching the lives of Jewish women. Your care and support enables us to help highly creative women express their talents within a Torah framework and remain in the Torah fold. Our women are the Jewish mothers of tomorrow. Enabling a woman to learn at B'erot Bat Ayin can make the difference not only for her, but also for her future children and their communities. Thus, by supporting B'erot Bat Ayin you can affect the future of our entire people. In the merit of your support may you have the most blessed year of your life.

Please send contributions to
Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin
The Village of Bat Ayin
Gush Etzion 90913 Israel

Donations of $100 and above are tax-deductible in the United States and Canada.
For a tax-deductible donation in the United States make checks out to:
The Gush Etzion Foundation.

For a tax-deductible donation in Canada please make checks out to Mizrachi of Canada.