בס"ד

Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin’s Pearls from the

Wellspring

Tevet 5765

The Month of Tevet Rectifying the Sense of Agitation
The month of Tevet is about taking the light of Kislev and bringing it down to enlighten the very lowest most physical reality. Ayin the letter of the month- has a strong base below the line. The liver which is the bodily organ corresponding to Tevet is known to control the lowest most physical part of our being associated with digestion, and sexuality. Thus Tevet is the time when the body receives enjoyment from the body (Megilla 13a) indicating its physical element and moreover the ability at this time to transform the bodily enjoyments for holiness. The character trait of anger and agitation is one of the worst emotions possible. Yet, when its energy is channeled towards becoming angry only at evil, it can turn us towards all the good as the name Tevet indicates, (from the root tov- which means good). This is only possible through developing a good eye the meaning of the Hebrew word Ayin. The letter Ayin also represents the ability to convey the Torah into the 70 languages- again the concept of infusing the dark places with the light of Chanukah. According to how much we channel our anger to expel evil, can we transform the darkest places to the holiest light.
Happy winter!!!! With blessings of the Torah and the Land,
Chana Bracha Siegelbaum

Pearls from the Wellspring is a monthly email contribution of the students of Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin. We encourage you to send your comments and questions to Rebbetzin Chana Bracha at berot@netvision.net.il
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In this month's issue:

Kabbalah at Makor /B'erot
By Heidi Lee, B'erot student and singer/songwriter

Leaving Israel
By Noga Phares, returning B'erot student

Poetry
What's Your goal?
By Franciska Duval, B'erot alumna

"Kabbalah at Makor B'erot"
By Heidi Lee, B'erot student and singer/ songwriter

One of my favorite days of the week (besides Shabbat!) is Thursdays in the Old City, with the Makor
B'erot program. In the morning, we begin with parsha, Kabbalah and Messiah classes. We learn with regular B'erot teachers, as well as new ones in Jerusalem, get served a Shabbat-quality Sephardic unch in the Sephardic Educational Center and enjoy a choice of (kosher!) yoga or a tiul of Old City treasures in the afternoon, before saying farewell with our poetic Zionist class.

Last week, we learned in Rebbetzin Chana Bracha's Women in Tanach class about Yaakov's soulmate becoming two. According to the Zohar, Rachel and Leah were supposed to be one foremother of B'nai Israel, but they came down as twins, our earthly and spiritual mothers, to marry Yaakov and Israel. Their tikkun was to unify as one. The most commonly-learned struggle we know of was their jealousy, despite their love for each other, and their overcoming it! The Rebbetzin says Jewish women are either more like Rachel or Leah, and it is for our growth to determine which one we are and to overcome our jealousy of women like the "other."

This shiur touched me very personally, because it gave me perspective on my own journey and how I have been challenged at B'erot. We are a tight group of sisters: working, studying, sleeping, crying, fighting and laughing together. And as an only child, it has not been easy for me to face intelligent and dedicated peers with painfully similar insecurities to heal and middot to refine. I grew up with an immigrant, Leah-type mother who taught her tomboy, Rachel-type daughter to climb down from trees and the dining room table and to act and speak like a proper, modest young lady. Well, at twenty-one, I left my fearful conservatism behind and allowed myself to live more wildly, to make more mistakes and have fewer regrets, and to let an imperfect artist and performer (Rachel) blossom from my stable
foundation (Leah).

Really, I was trying to integrate my inner and outer truths, to move beyond my jealousy of other women who were doing what my mother taught me not to (i.e. choosing my own vocation, partner, religious observance). Now I have experienced occassional jealousy from others, for what I dare to be, and sometimes I long to be as "together" as more machmir women are. The search continues, for my own integrity in living as a Jewess, with the support of B'erot and my sincere sisters, in this
journey toward Derech Hashem.

"Leaving Israel"
by Noga Phares

Leaving Israel was like having a baby ripped from its mothers arms. At least that's what it felt like, as I saw the Land slowly disappearing behind me in the jet stream. Facing the onslaught here, of a culture who "zones out" in TV Land & news that is presented in soap opera segments, has been difficult and very sad for me to see once again. It was also hard to see people at my synagogue on Shabbat, seeming to just get through their prayers and songs--songs that were once on the lips of Jews who sang them loudly, proudly, even if it was with their last breath. What a difference a generation in time makes. "Time" is a huge gift and one that needs careful accounting. The other day I found myself wondering when HaShem will decide that we've had enough and are ready to lift our eyes only to Him. If we, as children of Abraham, sluff off, turn lazy, apathetic, or let in the bitterness of world barbarism or disgust with even, G-d forbid, fellow Jews, then who will carry the light?

With the Chanukah season upon us, it is my deepest prayer that all of us women savor our Chanukah
lessons. May we lasso & harness our energies with all our might--physical, emotional, and spiritual -and literally pull them into our hands and feet. It is my belief that the "hidden" prayers of women endow the actions of men and the world with Torah. That is a tremendous responsibility. May it be that as each Jew lights the Chanukah candle, the answer, "Heneini--Here I am," emanates forth, lighting the world. Each moment counts. I can only hope that the Torah education/experience of Bat Ayin can continue to spark this light in us women, which this ol' world so desperately cries for.

"What's Your goal?"
By Franciska Duval

I am worried and wonder what's happening in me
Can You tell me Hashem, what's Your goal?
Many people around me and feeling so lonely
Can You tell me Hashem, what's Your goal?

Hold me, help me, tell me where to go
Help me to find a place where I belong
Hold me, help me, tell me where to go
Help me please with coming back home

Do you want me to feel true what it means to be a Jew
Can You tell me Hashem, is this Your goal?
Do I have to be aware of the heaviness I'll have to bear
Can You tell me Hashem, is this Your goal?

Do you want me to love You, with all my heart, Avinu
Can You tell me Hashem, is that Your goal?
Do You want me to make You, the King of all the kings, Malkenu
Can You tell me Hashem, is that Your goal?

Transform your pain through Me, and Love, Love will it be
I can tell you, Neshamah, this is a goal
Spread this Love, increase this Love, work with Jews on unity
I can tell you, Neshamah, this is My goal

I'll hold you, I'll help you, I'll tell you where to go
But please dear Neshamah have emunah
I'll hold you, I'll help you, I'll tell you where to go
I'll help you and I'll guide…… all of you, to My Home

Bilthoven, 9 october 2004/ 25 tishri 5765
Dedicated to the loving family van Dijk

Dear Friends,
I want to thank you very much for your generous donations. Thanks to your help we have been able to waterproof the caravans and fix the holes in the floors and walls, so our students can stay dry this winter.
We have also been able to upgrade our program and add more classes both for advanced and beginning level.

Donations of $100 and above are tax-deductible in the United States and Canada.
For a tax-deductible donation in the United States make checks out to:
The Gush Etzion Foundation.

For a tax-deductible donation in Canada please make checks out to Mizrachi of Canada.
I hope to see some of you on my upcoming USA tour. Jan 6-20 - visiting Berkeley, LA, Manhattan, Monsey, Florida, Montreal, Toronto and Baltimore. If you haven't received my itinerary already please request it by email.

Chana Bracha Siegelbaum
Founder & Director,
Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin