בס"ד

Midreshet B’erot Bat Ayin’s Pearls from the Wellspring

Tishrei/Chesvan 5764

Dear Friends and Supporters,

Things have been hectic at Midreshet B'erot Bat Ayin, with so many new programs and students, so this e-newsletter covers both the months of Tishrei and Chesvan.

The midrash teaches that Avraham was the first to express the words of the Eishet Chail as a eulogy for Sarah, later King Solomon recaptured the words and wrote them as his conclusion of the book of Proverbs. "She envisioned a field and took it" (Mishley 31:16). -- She envisioned and took the field of the Machpela and there she was buried as it states, "and afterwards Avraham buried Sarah." (Midrash Tanchuma, Chayei Sarah 4) Avraham was promised the land of Israel by Hashem several times. Through the merit of Sarah this promise was actualized in the purchase of the field of Machpela. By deliberately passing away in Hebron, Sarah ensured that this part of Eretz Yisrael would be the initial legal acquisition of the Promised Land as an eternal possession to the Jewish people. Let us continue the legacy of Sarah. We will not only die but truly live in the Promised Land, by imbuing it with Torah learning and gardening.

I hope to spread a breath of the air from Eretz Yisrael on my upcoming USA tour Dec. 16-23. If you would like to meet with me, and/or help me get around in NY or Florida please be in touch with me.

With blessings of the Torah & the Land,

Chana Bracha Siegelbaum

In this month’s issue:

"Kapparot" by B'erot Student Yakova Baum

"First Israeli Sukkot" by B'erot Student Shulamit (Amelia) Frey

“Spirit of Togetherness” by B'erot Student Danya Marshman

“Jumping In” A Student's Experience at Kever Rochel"

by B'erot Student Shefa Ora Ganuz

"Kapparot" by B'erot Student Yakova Baum

Entering the kaparot area of Nachla’ot, I spent the last few minutes before the ritual convincing myself that my performance was truly necessary. In fact, I wanted to believe I was doing a favor to the chicken who would become my atonement, and become spiritually elevated itself. The pandemonium that greeted my eyes rivaled the gentle, chesedik virginal predawn light just beginning to fill the sky with its pinkish radiance. The squawking birds, unmistakable stench of blood, and loud mechanical noise of the de-feathering wheel-- how and from where was my kavanna supposed to come? How could I be expected to have an intimate connection with my kapara in this Nachla’ot parking lot- turned death factory? I chose the most sickly, filthy-looking scrap of a chicken-- partly because I felt she represented the sorry sullied of my n’shama and partly to put her out of her misery. After the ordeal, I viewed my surroundings; I lifted my skirt, trying to avoid puddles of congealed blood and dirty chicken filth and feathers. I watched men dressed as chassidim-- witnessed how they roughly handled their kaparot. The scene before me jarred my already overworked senses. Men tossing around these living, breathing creatures as if they were sacks of rice. Shochets casually slitting scrawny throats, nonchalantly tossing writhing bodies into cone-shaped containers to drain the blood. Anger flared within me-- don’t these people know what it means to be a chassid? To tap into the source of chessed and manifest it here in this world, I fear the Baal Shem Tov would be turning in his grave at the actions of these men. The expressionless, blank-eyed, mechanical movement of lips uttering prayers mumbled in the same reflexive way in which I’d say gezunteit to a stranger who sneezed on the bus seat next to me. I witnessed one man, as he grasped the chicken by its legs, swinging it with a vicious energy in careless, jerky movements. The chicken was experiencing a hellish reality-- I visualize its nefesh surely up in the heavenly courts protesting its treatment in this world by a prince of Judea, an ohr la goyim, (a light to the nations) the beloved son of G-d. Is this for what man was created? Did this man grow up around animals, around living creatures? Surely not-- so is he to blame for his lack of connection to the stories of his Chassidic Rebbes, those telling of communion with nature on a regular basis and of discovering G-d within the teva (nature)? If not, who is to blame for our generations' detachment from the environment in which we live? We are Jews-- we cannot fall into the popular tide and tendencies of the world at large- we need to strive above and beyond to reconnect to G-d, in this world He has bestowed upon us as a gift.

I believe that through exposure to these elements of teva, a Jew has the potential to develop an increased strength and consciousness, deeply sensitizing herself to the environment and the living creatures that abound. I feel that B'erot fosters a type of environment, which is beneficial to all Jews. It encourages women to explore their individuality from within, and to manifest their Godliness in a practical way which helps them to interact with the world around them. Through B'erot’s variety of courses-- which range from meditation, to textual Torah study, to gardening and herbal workshops-- the students receive the unique opportunity to commune with nature and enrich their spirituality. Bat Ayin is an ideal setting for concentrating on Torah and learning how to apply it to the dynamics of the world around us. The settlement of Bat Ayin is surrounded by rolling hills, hidden springs and blossoming wildlife. At B'erot, students learn to unite with the outside world, simultaneously elevating it to indescribable heights.

“Spirit of Ingathering”

By B'erot Student Danya Marshman

This year's Sukkot celebration brought many new faces to B'erot Bat Ayin. Women from various Midrashot throughout Israel migrated up to B'erot's Judean Hill setting as part of an annual seminar encouraging the learning and sharing of ideas and seasonal insights. The Sukkot ingathering emphasizes Chassidut, spiritual outlet and personal growth, in turn drawing strong, purposeful women with varying backgrounds and perspectives on G-d and Torah. Over this last holiday of autumn, we learned about the connection of this holiday to Eretz Israel, spending time studying Chassidic sources and hiking through Gush Etzion's majestic landscape.

Though these experiences were extremely rich and fulfilling, perhaps the most memorable times took place at the end of each day-- when our potpourri group of B'erot locals and visiting students unlaced our hiking boots and put the books back up on the shelf. Along with wonderful group-prepared dinners, we shared thoughts and ideas about what this special time of year meant to us, the ways in which we felt increasingly connected to our foremothers and fathers, and the ways in which we were connecting to each other. Over piping hot cups of lavender and lemongrass tea, our diverse, independent-minded, and extremely introspective group generated not only wonderful conversation and intense prayer, but soul-connections and friendships that will most definitely be re-united for many Sukkots to come!

"First Israeli Sukkot"

By B'erot Student Amelia Frey

Building a sukkah was very fun. I had never done it before so it was all new. Being tall worked to my advantage when I was putting up the roof.

We had one sleeping sukkah, in which we studied, learned, and ate meals. I slept in the sukkah the last night and enjoyed it very much. Looking up at the stars reminded me of when I used to sleep in my sleeping bag on our balcony as a kid.

But the mosquitoes were not fun at all! I had put tons of mosquito repellent on my face but not enough on my hands-- by the morning there were more bites on my hands than I had fingers!

The bites have healed by now, yet the nice memories are still here, of my best Sukkot ever.

"Jumping In"

By B'erot Student Shefa Ora Ganuz

It is 10 Mar Cheshvan 5764 and I've been in Israel 13 days. Literally off the plane and directly into the West Bank. Needless to say, it is quite a change from Southern California. I was interested in a trip some of the B'erot students were planning, to Kever Rochel in honor of her yartzeit, along with a group of women living in Bat Ayin. Imagine being in Southern California one day, with open roads and no immediate threat of being stoned or shot, and then finding yourself in Beit Lechem. Was the threat of danger going to keep me from going to Kever Rochel - no way. My faith and trust in HaShem is greater than my fear of the "giants" in the land. As Rochel Immanu "jumped" before HaShem, I too needed to jump for the sake of the present and future generations of Israel.

Why did I "jump"? I did so in Rochel's merit. The Midrash Raba, Eicha, intro, piska 24 brings out the following: "Then Rochel Immanu jumped before HaShem and said, "Master of the Universe, it is revealed before you that Yaakov your servant loved me excessively, and he worked for my father seven years for my sake. When the seven years were completed, and it became the time for me to marry my husband my father planned to exchange me with my sister, the matter was difficult for me, but I was not jealous of her. . ." Immediately Hashem's mercy is unrolled, and he replies, "For you Rochel I will return Israel." Hopefully my going to Kever Rochel is making a tikkun for my mothers and fathers who never made it to Israel. Instead, my family hid from persecution and the threat of death in places such as Spain, Mexico and LA. Facing different forms of persecution today, I stand up and say, "Enough! I am jumping in with two feet!"

As I walk up the hill to the bus stop in Bat Ayin, I ponder the experience that I am about to embark upon. Arriving at the pick-up kiosk, I see women and children of all ages. I recall hearing that Beit Lechem is a settlement that recently has been heavily contested by Arabs and Israelis. Do I change my mind or even hesitate for that matter - no! Chas v'shalom that I pass up such an oppurtunity to honor my mothers and fathers with such a tikkun. A tikkun to overcome fear in order to pray at Kever Rochel. I take my seat on the bus and off we go. As we drive through the West Bank, I hear children singing as their teacher leads them in song bringing them closer to the importance of this trip they are on.

As we pull up to the heavily guarded gate of Beit Lechem, I see at least a dozen soldiers at the gate, armed and ready for anything. The bus pulls in and nestles up close to the entrance of the kever. Not only was this bus our transportation, but its bulletproof glass windows also acted as a blockade from the crossfire of possible Arab-Israeli clashes. Chas v'shalom. Around the entrance of the kever, you see tall buildings with one of them displaying an Israeli flag. It gave me a sense of security and pride knowing that Kever Rochel was so valued by all of Israel.

As we walk in, I stop at the washing station to do nagel vaser preparing my body and soul to talk to HaShem via the merit of Rochel Immanu. As I near her kever I look to my right and see a memorial that looks like a kever. It is the memorial to Yosef HaTzaddik. I remember when the tomb that is said to hold the kever of Yosef HaTzaddik was destroyed. I wept for about an hour, and still hold sorrow in my heart over the tragedy.

Continuing closer to the kever, I approach the outer room of Kever Rochel. Women are packed in, davening and reading tehillim. Some are surrounded by children, some cradling small infants. I then walk into the room where her kever is. I look and jump in so that I can pray right up against her kever. As I daven with my body pressed up against her tomb, I hear a woman with all her koach, cry out, "Die, die die!" meaning enough, enough, enough. I continue to weep due to Israel's slumber. I take my tears and spread them on the kever. I pour my heart out to HaShem for Israel's sake. Tears that express hope in the coming redemption. In the merit of the pure tears of Rochel Immanu, my tears make a deep impression in the time and space continuum. My tears express the dread of what must come before Moshiach; contractions, blood and then birth. When I finished weeping for Israel, via the deeply connected tears of Rochel, I turn to leave and I hear HaShem say, "Wait what about you?" Then Avienu Malkenu reminds me to pray for myself in Rochel Immanu's merit.

About two and a half hours later, we are told that our return bus has arrived and we go outside to the entryway. Then soldiers inform us it is safer for us to stay inside, and we file back in, regrettably. Amidst such heaviness, the burden is somewhat lifted by the songs of precious Jewish children.

Rochel Immanu should inspire each of us to always remember to be humble. Humility is the nullification of the ego and the ego is the encrustation of the soul. So when a Jew walks in humility his soul is more likely to cleave in purity to HaShem and to the divine sparks of HaShem in other Jews. Also please never forget that tears open all gates to Shamayim. Picture each tear like a microcosmic mikvah allowing your soul to be cleansed for your sake and Klal Yisrael. Mamosh!