PARASHAT DEVARIM

ALONE TOGETHER

Although our children are most precious to us and they represent our future continuation, no one is as close to each other as husband and wife. "That is why man leaves his father and his mother, and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh" (Bereishit 2:24). Husband and wife live at least nine months alone together, before little ones enter their nest. G-d could have ingrained within Nature the arrival of offspring from the beginning of marital union. He could have made the woman conceive, and give birth the same day. Yet, it is G-d's desire that man and woman spend a substantial amount time alone together without the distraction of the brood. Likewise, it is the nature of children to grow up, leave the nest and start their own families. In this natural process of unfolding life, husband and wife are again left to themselves.

A QUESTION OF PRIORITIES

The importance of placing the wife before anyone even our children is hinted in our parsha by the following verse: "The Eternal your G-d has given you His land to possess it; you shall pass over equipped before your brothers, the children of Israel, all that are suitable for war. But your wives, and your little ones, and your cattle, ... shall abide in your cities which I have given you." (Devarim 3:18-19) These are Moshe's subtle words of rebuke to the tribes of Reuven and Gad originally requested land on the other side of the Jordan River saying, "We will build sheepfolds here for our cattle, and cities for our little ones." (Bamidbar 32:16) Moshe then reversed the order and adjusted their words, "Build cities for your little ones, and folds for your flock" (ibid. 32:24). This is what Rashi pointed out in his commentary on verse 16, "They paid more regard to their property than to their sons and daughters, because they mentioned their cattle before their children. Moshe said to them, keep your priorities correct. First build cities for your little ones and afterwards folds for your flock." The tribes of Reuven and Gad accepted Moshe's rebuke and corrected themselves saying, "Our little ones, our wives, our cattle, and all our beast, shall be there in the cities of Gilead." (Bamidbar 32:26) Yet, their proposal still needed fine-tuning, since they placed their children before their wives. Therefore, Moshe mentioned the wives first on the list in order to make them aware here that there is no one more important than the wife.

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